July 2012
1 post
1 tag
Michael Phelps
Paulina: What's your favorite stroke?
Philip: Underwater.
Jul 6th
1 note
May 2012
1 post
1 tag
YOLO
Mom: Michelle's going to drive you to swim practice.
Philip: I'm too young to die.
May 8th
2 notes
March 2012
2 posts
5 tags
Philip: Klaudia, truth or dare?
Klaudia: Truth
Philip: No, dare.
Mar 15th
3 notes
1 tag
Philip, do you read books?
I read movies.
Mar 9th
1 note
February 2012
24 posts
4 tags
Mom: You don't have to have big boobs.
Philip: Oh yes you do!
Feb 25th
1 note
1 tag
Dad: Goodnight.
Philip: Goodnight, dead body.
Feb 24th
1 note
1 tag
“I hate my daddy because he speaks Polish and he farts and poops.”
– Shit Philip Says
Feb 24th
1 note
1 tag
“Two words: jump off a cliff and die.”
– Shit Philip Says
Feb 18th
1 note
1 tag
Klaudia: I'm not a model.
Philip: Oh yes you are!
Feb 18th
2 notes
1 tag
Sassy Bitch
Caroline: Sassiest six-year-old ever.
Philip: I'm sassy.
Philip: I'm sassy.
Philip: I'm a BITCH.
Feb 18th
3 notes
1 tag
“SON OF A BITCH!”
– Shit Philip Says
Feb 15th
1 tag
“Dad, turn the car to zero degrees, I have chocolate in my backpack.”
– Shit Philip Says
Feb 15th
4 notes
1 tag
“Dad, can you do me a favor? Put dynamite in your pants and jump off a cliff.”
– Shit Philip Says
Feb 15th
2 notes
1 tag
“What’s up, freaky bro?”
– Shit Philip Says
Feb 14th
3 notes
1 tag
Philip: Help me log onto Ebay.
Klaudia: Ok, what's your password?
Philip: 1234
Feb 9th
2 notes
1 tag
Caroline: Get out of my kitchen!
Philip: YOU CRAZY WOMAN. THIS IS WHY I DON'T NEED A WIFE.
Feb 8th
2 notes
1 tag
Me: Philip, now that you have a blog you have to be funny.
Philip: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Feb 7th
3 notes
1 tag
“I’m sexy and I hate it.”
– Shit Philip Says
Feb 7th
3 notes
1 tag
Philip is Playing a Game
Mom: Go to sleep.
Philip: Just let me kill this guy.
Feb 7th
2 tags
Feb 7th
3 notes
2 tags
Good Luck
Philip: Do you speak Polish?
Grace and Alyssa: No.
Philip: Well, good luck with that.
Feb 7th
5 notes
1 tag
Deciding Where to Eat Dinner
Caroline: 3 out of 5, we're going to Olive Garden.
Me: Philip, don't you want to go to Outback?
Philip: Yes.
Mom: Do you even know what's at Outback?
Philip: Meat.
Feb 7th
1 note
“I’m the funniest person in the family.”
– Shit Philip Says
Feb 7th
1 note
1 tag
Philip is in the Bathroom
Philip: MOM!!!
Me: Philip, Mom's not home. What do you want?
Me: ...
Philip: I need mom.
Me: She's not here.
Philip: MOM!!!
Me: SHE'S NOT HOME.
Philip: WIPE MY BUT!!!!
Feb 7th
2 notes
1 tag
Feb 7th
5 notes
1 tag
Living on a Prayer is Playing in the Car
Radio: "We've got each other and that's a lot for love..."
Philip: We've got each other and that's dumb.
Feb 7th
6 notes
A Conversation About Our Cousin
Me: She's in school to be a pastry chef.
Caroline: Doesn't she work at Culver's? What's her boyfriend doing?
Philip: Dating her, duh!!!
Feb 7th
2 notes
1 tag
“Icicles…..perfect to stab somebody.”
– Shit Philip Says
Feb 7th
6 notes